How to Get Your Ex Back: 7 Things You Can Do

Natasha Ivanovic
5 min readSep 20, 2021

I know why you’re here. You want to know how to get your ex back. I get it. We’ve all been there.

Everyone has their relationship problems, and solutions vary. Maybe you two both decided to call it quits; maybe there was some cheating involved, or you two just needed some time to grow on your own.

Now, either you’re going through a rough patch, or you also realize you’ve made a big mistake in letting them go. And now, you want them back.

I can’t tell you for sure that your ex is going to come running back, and honestly, I don’t really know if you genuinely want them back.

But whatever the case may be, I’ve written a lot of relationship writing and have the help you need.

Do you really want your ex back?

Breakups hurt. It’s doesn’t if you were the one who called it quits or not. When a relationship comes to an end, you grieve the loss of someone who you called a friend and partner.

However, is getting back your ex the right move to make?

Before you start making big moves, you need to ask yourself why you want to get back with your ex.

Ask yourself, do you want to learn how to get back with your ex because you fear loneliness and seek comfort in your past, or are you genuinely missing the partnership you had with them?

How to Get Your Ex Back

So, you’re still set on learning how to get your ex back. Here’s how to do it.

A little space goes a long way

While you’re probably thinking, “umm…how can I get them back if I give them space?” — listen. If you want to get your ex back, it’s not going to happen while you’re all over them.

Begging them to be with you and stalking them online isn’t going to help your case. You know that those moves are huge turn-offs.

Space is crucial if you’re trying to get your ex back. Give them the chance to think about you, to miss you. If you’re always around, you won’t give them that time.

Space also does wonders in helping people reminisce about the goods time you two had.

So, follow this rule and give them space.

Follow the no contact rule

Giving them space is going to be hard, but following the no contact rule is going to be harder. However, it will pay off in the end.

After breaking up with your partner, you need some space apart from each other — but real space. Yes, it’s not easy cutting contact with someone who was your best friend for months or years, but it will benefit you and your ex.

While following the no contact rule, you’ll be able to rebuild your life back and give your ex a chance to miss you.

If you want to know how to follow the no contact rule, read my guide here.

Spend time with the people who love you

You lived a life before your ex even met. It was full of friends and family, you know, the people who love and support you.

While you were in a relationship, those friendships may have taken a back seat. But now it’s time to rebuild them and get to know yourself again.

Invest time in reconnecting with your friends and family to help you heal from the breakup and get back to you who are.

Plus, it’ll make you look more confident and less thirsty for your ex.

Take on new activities and hobbies

Most relationship writing will give you tips on how to get your ex back and completely ignore you.

If you want your ex, playing games isn’t going to work in the long run. The only thing you can do is focus on yourself and go through the journey of personal growth.

It’s time to focus on you. Get yourself reconnected with old hobbies or try new activities. Start to find the things that make you happy.

Explore why you want to get back with your ex

Relationship problems and solutions start with you. That’s it. It’s about you and your partner.

If you want your ex back, it’s time to explore those feelings and see where they’re coming from.

Do you have abandonment issues? Are you lonely? Do you miss the comfort of your previous relationship?

If those are the reasons why you want your ex back, then don’t do it.

However, if you miss your partnership and want to improve your relationship, then you and your ex have a chance (if they want to give it another try).

Start exploring the dating scene again

You won’t really know what you want until you go back out on the dating scene. Meet other people, go on dates, and see how you’re feeling.

While you may think this is a bad move to get your ex back, it will send them a message that you’re moving on. It’ll either push them to make a move or not. If not, then your ex isn’t the person for you.

Reflect on your relationship

What were the problems in your relationship? Every couple’s relationship problems and solutions vary — are your issues repairable?

Do you both share the same core values? Do you both want to improve the relationship? Your relationship is a two-way street, and you can’t do all the work to make it work.

Final thoughts…

If you want your ex back, focus on yourself. You may discover that your need to have your ex back was out of fear; rather than genuine love.

When you invest the time in yourself, those answers will become clear. And when they do, be honest with yourself and put your happiness first.

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Natasha Ivanovic

Writer| Love, relationships, and intimacy www.natashaivanovic.com Instagram: natashaivanovic