Questions to Ask Yourself After a First Date

Natasha Ivanovic
3 min readJan 24, 2022

After your first date, take some time to reflect and see if it’s worth going on a second date with them. Here are important questions to ask yourself after a first date.

You’ve just been on a first date — great! Maybe it went really well, or maybe you’re unsure. We’ve all been there. Dating isn’t easy — there’s no formula to it! But what now? What about the questions to ask after a first date?

And when I mean questions to ask, I mean to ask yourself after a first date.

I remember going on a second date with someone because I wasn’t sure how I felt. And after the second date, I knew he wasn’t for me. But I also didn’t ask myself some important questions after the first date that could have saved me a lot of time. And if there’s one thing you should remember, it’s that your time is precious.

So, after your first date, take some time to reflect and see if it’s worth going on a second date with them. Here are important questions to ask yourself after a first date.

Questions To Ask Yourself After A First Date

After you and your date part ways, ask yourself these questions. It’ll help you make a decision that aligns with your needs.

Was your date actively listening?

Were they actively engaging in conversation with you? Did they look at you when you spoke? Or did they avoid eye contact and act like a wall?

How did they treat you? How did they treat others?

You can tell a lot about someone by how they treat others. Were they respectful to you? How did they treat the other people on your date (wait staff, host, valet, etc.)?

Was there natural chemistry?

Chemistry can grow and develop, but usually, there’s natural chemistry to build off of. You know if there’s a sexual connection between you two. Was it there?

How was their overall vibe? Positive or an emotional vampire?

Was your date positive? Or a Debbie Downer? You want a partner that will lift you up, not suck the life out of you.

How was the conversation? Was there a natural connection? An ebb and flow?

Were you the one trying to come up with all the topics, or did the conversation flow naturally? Did they actively participate in conversation? Engage in eye contact? Or was it like talking to a doorknob?

Did you laugh?

Your date doesn’t have to be a stand-up comedian. But you want someone who can make you laugh and vice versa.

On the date, did they show their sense of humor? Do you have a compatible sense of humor with them?

How was their hygiene?

Did they shower before seeing you? Comb their hair? Did they come to the date with a stained shirt?

This is the first impression they want you to see of themselves. And if that’s what you’re getting from them, it’s not gonna get better from here.

Did they share an opinion? Their own personal thoughts?

You want to be with someone who can think for themselves and speak truthfully. When you were talking to them, did they share their own opinions or thoughts? If they don’t have a strong opinion on anything, it doesn’t sound like they have a grasp of who they are.

Did they go with the flow?

Nothing ever goes as planned, especially on a first date. Something always happens that either changes the plans or creates an awkward moment. It’s life. But what’s important is how they handled the change. Did they go with the flow? Were they relaxed? Or did they clam up and have anxiety?

Final Thoughts

Meeting new people and going on dates isn’t easy (with all this dating writing under my wing, I know). And, of course, you never really know someone from the first date, but you can see whether there’s a natural connection or if they align with you.

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