She’s Just Not That Into You: When to Walk Away From a Relationship

Oh god, I remember twitching at the thought of my crush not liking me. No one wants to hear those words, they’re just not that into you. What kind of answer is that? While we want hard, cold facts, this is a simple reason for why they didn’t call you back, why they don’t want to call you their boyfriend, or why they’ve ghosted you. They don’t like you enough. And yes, it’s really that simple.

Now, even though deep down we may know this person isn’t into us, it’s not always easy to walk away from them. I remember hanging on to a friendship with a guy I liked, fully knowing he wasn’t into me because I was holding onto the hope that he would realize how amazing I am and would sweep me up into his arms. We all know what happened to the end of that story. Nothing happened.

But I did, after a verbal “wake the fuck up” slap from my friends, decide to step back from the friendship. And it turned out that he didn’t care when I chose to walk away. In fact, he found another chick to manipulate — funny how that works, right?

If you’re not getting what you need from the relationship, then it’s not benefiting you. If anything, you’ve become a slave to this person. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s true. You’re giving yourself to them, and they’re not giving back.

So, it’s time to refocus your attention on yourself. You’ve probably been running around, chasing this girl, doing whatever she wants, and your needs are still unmet.

And while it’s easy to point the blame onto her, at the end of the day, it’s not her fault. Now, don’t get mad. Hear me out. Who allowed this woman to use you? You did. You allowed her to treat you without respect.

You’ve probably had those moments when you’ve thought to yourself, it’s time to walk away. But you didn’t have the strength — we’ve all been there. And, if anything, this just shows you need to give yourself a little more love and respect because no one else will unless you establish the foundation. So, it’s time to learn when to walk away from a relationship and put the power back into your hands.

10 Non-Negotiable Signs that it’s time to walk away

Don’t ignore these red flags. It’s time to know when to walk away from a relationship.

1. Her values do not match yours

What can I say? You two don’t have the same core values. If you did, you wouldn’t be in this predicament. Someone who has the same values as you, for example, honesty, respect, and love would have told you a long time ago that they don’t see you romantically.

And you know what? You would have moved on. However, stringing you along and playing with your emotions shows that her core values are different than yours.

2. Your inner voice is speaking to you

I know you’ve had a conversation with yourself about her, and I know that deep down, you know she isn’t into you. However, those small pieces of breadcrumbs keep you thinking that maybe your inner voice is wrong. Well, it’s not wrong.

Have another honest conversation with yourself and ask yourself if you really have feelings for her or if this is more an obsession attachment — then you’ll know when to walk away from a relationship.

3. She doesn’t show interest in your life

When was the last time she showed genuine interest in your life? If you start to think about it, usually, the only time she’s interested is when it benefits her. And, let’s be honest here, that’s not love.

4. You feel like you’re reading code

With trying to read all the signs she’s giving off, I’m surprised you didn’t become a developer. Do you feel like you’re reading code? Do you feel like you’re bending over backward to figure out what the hell is going on between you two?

I’m going to tell you something, and it’s important you listen. If it feels complicated, she’s not the one. You will know when a woman likes you; it won’t be hard to see.

5. You feel like you’re constantly on your toes

This is one of the reasons why you’re still hanging on to her. You lack the self-worth and self-love to pull out of this toxic relationship. If you’re always watching what you have to say and unsure of how she’s feeling, this is toxic.

Look at the relationships in your life you grew up around — do they look similar? They probably do. You’re following toxic patterns. And the only way to end the cycle is by walking away.

6. She gaslights you

Maybe she whispered some sweet nothings into your ear when she was drunk, and the next morning when you asked her about it, she denies ever saying anything and calls you crazy.

It looks like you’re being gaslighted. When someone gaslights you, it shows you more about themselves and how they lack basic empathy.

7. She plays with your emotions

She thinks it’s hilarious to flirt with you and get you aroused without having an intention of making a move. For her, it’s just fun. But in reality, not only is it cruel but it shows her lack of empathy and moral code. In other words, she’s doesn’t respect you.

8. She has a history of being the victim

She’s probably talked about her past relationships to you, and in all of them, she’s been the victim. Everyone has treated her badly, and she’s done nothing wrong. Yawn. Boring.

Her lack of self-reflection is concerning and shows you that if she’s not aware of her own actions, what she’s capable of doing to you lacks boundaries. If you were looking at when to walk away from a relationship — if you see this, walk away.

9. She has a lack of boundaries with her friends, ex, or family

She doesn’t have any boundaries with her friends or family members. Maybe she hooks up with her friends or pushes them into uncomfortable situations. Either way, it shows she lacks boundaries and is only concerned for her short-term fulfillment.

10. There’s a serious pattern

When you take a step back and start to look at what’s going on, there’s a pattern. You start to see that she never learns from her lessons. Instead, she makes the same mistakes over and over, only with different people involved.

If you’re looking for a relationship, you want a partner who can recognize their behavior and work on changing their patterns into healthy ones.

Even as a self-help writer, I didn’t learn the easy way. My experience came from not valuing myself and staying in a bad relationship. But now you know when to walk away from a relationship and live your best life.